Do you REALLY have to do it?
No, you don’t.
So, there’s something you really have to do right? I mean, the world will end if you don’t get it done or go there, right?
We place SO many pressures on ourselves usually to make others happy. Well, when it is YOUR turn to be happy? When was the last time you said ‘no’ to something or another and YOUR happiness index increased? Or you were relieved. Relief tells us tension was building, but why do we let tension build in the first place?
Because we are afraid to let people down or some sense of ourselves that we should be ‘bigger than this’. But the reality is…we AREN’T bigger than this. We are ourselves. Vulnerable, fragile and looking for accepting love and kindness as we go along through this life. When we are met with harshness, non-acceptance and general rudeness, we suddenly find ourselves on the defensive or find ourselves getting ill to avoid situations we’d much rather not be involved in. Don’t you ever wonder WHY there are so many planes stuck at airports over Christmas time in North America usually? Intuition tells me that it’s because people don’t REALLY want to go home for the holidays. Not everyone is like this and not everyone will admit this, but if we were all brutally (and actually unconditionally loving) honest about it, most of us would probably see the merit to this theory. Most people honestly don’t enjoy being around their families as they hit so many wounds and sore spots deep within us – it’s simply too painful to keep being reminded of them or continually disrespected by people who are supposedly supposed to love us. And the fact that the wounding keeps happening over and over again when we visit with family…doesn’t help the situation one bit.
I once had a friend share some great advice about family. She said that “If you wouldn’t have friends in your life treat you a certain way – why would you let your family members?” I couldn’t agree more! That was a new level for me waaaaay back then and it still applies today to each and every person that is present (or not!) in my life. I decide if it’s worth the conversation, sometimes have had those conversations and they didn’t really turn out to save the relationship, but at least I tried. Other times I honour where a person is at and trust my intuition that it’s simply not worth pursuing and it’s time to move on. No muss no fuss. I’m looking after myself. If they have a problem with it, it’s their problem. And besides, if they were loving and kind to me in the first place – I wouldn’t need to move on anyway. See how easy that is?
So I guess what I’m saying is. If you feel it’s worth it – sit down and have a conversation with someone if you feel you are being treated unkindly. If it works and the person was unaware and says they won’t do it again, great. If it doesn’t work well or they say “That’s how I am” – believe them and move away/let them go. Unconditional love honours another’s choices as well as your own. Choose for you. Choose your happiness and not having to deal with people who are unkind, make fun of you (or others) or who you are generally uncomfortable around. And warning – these may be family members. Know it’s perfectly okay to walk away from them as well if you need to. Choose people who uplift you, bring you true joy being around, and where you are accepted as you are, free to laugh and be real. These are your people! And as always, start with being this person yourself. You are your first and only true supporter throughout all of life. Don’t leave that up to other people. You need to know that you have your own back. And you know what?
You won’t regret it.
So, back to the title “Do you really have to do it?” No. You don’t need to do anything you truly don’t want to do. You only need to look after and support you in each moment and the rest will fall into place. Piece by piece.